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Insecure

Tau gak sih apa yang jadi ketakutan saya akhir2 ini?

Menjadi tua
Menua kan sudah jelas ya jadi kodrat setiap orang. Namun tiba2 saya kepikiran gini, bagaimana ketika saya tua nanti (kalo umur saya nyampe tua) fisik saya lemah, banyak merepotkan orang lain, gak bisa makan ini itu, gak bisa pergi kemana2, mau baca susah,  dan segala macam keterbatasan lain ketika kita menginjak usia lanjut.

Demotivasi
Menurut pengamatan saya, bertambahnya umur berbanding lurus dengan meningkatnya kemalasan seseorang mempelajari hal baru. Sedikit banyak, lingkungan membuat saya berpikir hal2 ini. Bagaimana jika nanti saya kehilangan minat untuk melanjutkan sekolah, bagaimana jika nanti saya skeptis terhadap perkembangan dunia luar (akumulasi dr berita negatif lama kelamaan berimbas negatif juga ke saya), bagaimana jika nanti saya malas mengikuti perkembangan teknologi (makin lama makin gaptek) dan yang paling buruk adalah bagaimana jika saya sudah malas mengikuti rasa ingin tahu saya dan malas mencoba sesuatu yang baru.


Mati dan/atau Ditinggal Mati
Yepp. Saya jauh dari orang tua. Dalam seminggu ini, saya menerima beberapa berita lelayu dan itu sangat berdampak negatif buat saya. Tingkat keparnoan saya meningkat. *hiks* misal : saya jadi takut kalo ada telpon dari rumah. Saya malah tenang kalo berhari2 bahkan semingguan lebih rumah gak telepon saya. Berarti mereka baik2 dan tenang2 saja di sana. Alhamdulillah.
Saya juga takut mati. Itu malah bagus sih, frekuensi ibadah saya meningkat pesat. Amalan2 sunah pun rajin saya perbuat. Hanya saja akhir2 ini saya tiba2 berpikir,gimana ya kalo saya mati padahal saya belum punya apa2 buat bekal.


Entahlah, tiga hal tersebut mengganggu pikiran saya akhir2 ini.

Komentar

  1. kalo menjadi tua sih aku gak takut lagi yah. Rambut udah beruban inih. Hahaha

    BalasHapus
  2. hmmmm... pikiran yang sama dengan saya akhir2 ini
    mungkinkah karena hampir mencapai quarter life crisis?

    BalasHapus
  3. .deady
    cari krim penghitam rambut ded. Prob solved!! :D

    .chachu
    indeed. Kayaknya sih masuk ke gejala quarter life crisis

    BalasHapus

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